"Sometimes our best relationships are with people we can't have"-Nigerian man recounts

A Nigerian man by the name Brian has taken to Twiter to share his story of falling in love with a divorced mother of 4.

In his words;

Thread of how I fell in love with a divorced mother of 4 in 2015
I met Queen for the first time in a bank, she borrowed me her pen. She didn’t seem attractive to me. She was in her mid 30s. I was in my early 20s.
We shared the exit door of the bank together. That door that took one personat a time, I joined her because I was in a hurry to leave.
She was already halfway to her car when I remembered that I borrowed her pen and went to return it to her. She was grateful and asked which way I was going. She was driving an SUV. I wasn’t driving that day but I swear I would have left my 190 at the car park and followed her.
I was going to Choba for clearance, she was also doing clearance for her Masters program. I was lucky. We had a lengthy conversation about school and careers.

We arrived, I thanked her and was about to get off. Then she goes “So I brought you all this way and you won’t even ask for my number?”

I was embarrassed and taken by surprised. I politely asked for her number and she smiled and gave it. I didn’t call or text until after a month when I accidentally added her to a broadcast list and sent her a broadcast. That broadcast error was a beautiful mistake…

She replied to confirm it was me and asked why I didn’t call all these while. We started talking on WhatsApp. She was divorced with 4 kids, The youngest was about to turn 5.

Her husband had traveled a year after her last child was born to the US for studies and never came back. He married a white woman and they already had a child. Men are scum.

The eldest was almost 16. She was 36, got married at 19. Anyway, we continued talking everyday, Whatsapp, BBM, text. She slowly became part of my routine.

She would take me out for lunch, and we would have long talks at night about the most random things. I didn’t know what I was doing. Why I was talking to a woman whose first child was less than 10 years younger than I was.

So one time she was throwing a small party for her last child, and asked me to help with preparations at her place. It was a long Saturday and by evening when the party was over, I stayed back to help clean up.

By 9pm, I was ready to go back home, she was in her room, I knocked on the door several times before opening it and saw her lying down exhausted on the bed. I informed her I was done and was about to go home.She got up from the bed and that was when I realized that her blouse was unbuttoned. I could see her bra, I looked away in embarrassment, but she was unbothered. She thanked me and hugged me.

The hug was taking longer than a hug should take and I hugged her back and for like a minute, we just stood there wrapped inside each other. What the hell was I doing?????

She walked me to my car outside and hugged me again, this time I could see the loneliness and want in her eyes, I could tell she had not been with a man for a long time. Or maybe I was just reading things that weren’t there like an idiot.

She tried to convince me to spend the night on the couch that it was late. I declined with the excuse that I didn’t tell my mother that I would be sleeping out that night.

She texted me when I got home. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Thanks for making me feel special. Goodnight” I didn’t sleep that night. A mother of 4 was in love with me??? It just didn’t stick.

I didn’t know whether I should be excited or worried. But the thought was heartwarming, that I made her happy.

I couldn’t even speak to anyone about it. It was crazy. I decided to stay away from her and just keep the conversations on phone. The out of sight strategy.

I started reducing the length of the conversations from 40, 50 minutes to 5-10 minutes. Would tell her I had something to do when the conversations were getting too deep and run off

So one Friday night, she asked me where I was and I told her I was preparing to hook up with my guys and we would go to the club. She asked to come along and I declined.

Imagine introducing my Aunty’s age mate to my friends as my what??? I just didn’t want any drama. Our friendship was a secret and I wanted it to remain that way. I just told her it was a boy’s night. She got upset and told me that I shouldn’t call her again.

I let her be the entire Saturday and Sunday thinking she would call and we would make up. The madam no send me. That was when I realized that I had feelings for her. I missed hearing from her, hearing her voice, her laughter, I missed seeing her notifications pop up on my phone.

I swallowed my pride and called on Monday, she didn’t pick, I tried reaching out the entire day, over 30 times. Each time she didn’t pick made me realize that I was on the brink of losing a woman who loved me. Scary. Men love a woman more when they realize they could lose her.

I thought of driving to her house on Wednesday evening when she would be at home. I was going mad. I was outside her gate when my phone rang. It was her, I took the call and the sound of her voice paused my heart. Love is an idiot.

“Brian, I miss you so much” was all she said before I started confessing like an idiot that I was sorry and I was in love with her. She didn’t know I was outside her gate, I parked there and we spoke for an entire hour and it felt so good. My heart was finally at peace.

We dated for 4 months. But with each passing day I knew our relationship was a fantasy. I wasn’t going to be with her forever and that reality hurt her even if she wanted more.

She knew she could never introduce me as her boyfriend to her high society friends and I never told a soul that we were together. We were each other’s secret.

And so one day I gathered the guts to look into her eyes and tell her that I was leaving her. It was painful for both of us but we knew it was going to happen.

In tears, she thanked me for my company and friendship and asked that we don’t remain friends and I respected her wishes. Sometimes our best relationships are with people we can’t have.

SEE IMAGE: Alaafin Of Oyo Displays His Level Of Fitness In New Photo

80-years-old Alaafin of Oyo shows his Flexible skills in a picture wearing his sports gears

The Traditional ruler was seen showing off his flexible skills as he lies down with his legs high up in the sky. The ruler was apparently having a good time as his old age was not telling on him.

This is not the first picture of the Alaafin of Oyo showing his flexible skills as he has been seen showing his boxing and dance skills as well.

(Image): Man Spotted On A Bike Donning An Ankara Version Of The Super Eagles Jersey

A man has been spotted on a bike aka Okada donning an Ankara version of the popular Super Eagles jersey.

Apparently, there are two original versions of the Super Eagles World Cup jerseys. There is the all green jersey which is the home kit and the pitch green jersey with white and black zig-zag patterns for the away kit.

The Okada rider was spotted wearing the ankara version of the away kit and even the Super Eagles do not have this version yet. The photo of the man has since gone viral earning mixed reactions from web users.

It is no news that Nigerians have been producing imitations of the jersey even before it was officially released by Nike in 2018. Those who can’t afford the original often go for the cheaper option.

See photo of the man below:

Ways to improve your Mental Health

It is important to take care of yourself and get the best from life. Below are five ways to look after your mental health.

1. Surround yourself with good people:

People with strong family or social connections are generally healthier than those who lack a support network.

Make plans with supportive family members and friends, or seek out activities where you can meet new people.

Talking about your feelings can help you stay in a good mental health and deal with times when you feel troubled. Talking about your feelings to family and friends is not a sign of weakness, it is part of taking charge of your wellbeing and doing what can make you stay healthy.

2. Eat well:

There is a link between what we eat and how we feel. The food you eat has a long lasting effect on your mental health. The brain needs a mixture of nutrients to stay healthy and function well.

A healthy balanced diet includes lots of fruits and vegetables and plenty of water. Taking nutritious meals and enough exercise helps to decrease depression and anxiety.

3. Avoid alcohol and other drugs:

Keep alcohol use to a minimum and avoid other drugs. Sometimes people use alcohol and other drugs to “self-medicate” but in reality, alcohol and other drugs only aggravate problems. Some people drink to deal with fear or loneliness, but the effect is temporary.

4. Do something you are good at:

Volunteer your time and energy to things you are good at doing. You’ll feel good about doing something tangible to help someone in need and it’s a great way to meet new people. Enjoying yourself helps beat stress by doing an activity you enjoy and achieving something that boosts your self-esteem.

5. Value yourself:

Treat yourself with kindness and respect and avoid self-criticism. Decide on what you want to achieve professionally, academically or personally and write down you need to realize your specific goals.

Feeling good about oneself boosts one’s confidence to learn new skills, visit new places and make new friends. Good self-esteem helps you cope when life makes a difficult turn

7 reasons you should keep your marriage private

An adage state: “Relationships last longer when nobody knows nothing about it”.

 Relationship is sometimes a reserved place where two people could find solace, trust and support, driven by a commitment to honour, love, and respect.

 Marriages require a few essential elements to maintain. At the top of the list is privacy.

Getting married is one thing, sustaining the marriage is another. In times past, people were very quick to allow others meddle into issues affecting their families, especially when it involves one of the spouses.

While this, in some cases, has its benefits, one of which includes seeing things from another party’s perspective. However, there are a lot of times when extra people were brought into family affairs, and things don’t go in the best direction.

   Given that not everyone actually is happy that you are happy and they are looking for opportunity to spoil the happiness.

Therefore, these are seven reasons you should keep your marriage private

1.      You Open Yourself To Negative Opinions:

Most times when we vent and go about expressing our anger and displeasure about our spouse, we often talk mostly about the partner’s faults and not ours. Also, most times we usually relay these complaints to people close to us, probably our friends or a family member we are close to.

It is likely for that family member of yours to take you side and God help you the person you reported your spouse to dislikes your spouse. This will be the perfect opportunity to “badmouth” your spouse. Hence, you are usually more open to negative opinions when you go outside of your marriage to resolve issues.

2. You can filter pictures, not your relationship:

The evolution of social media has only increased our lust for recognition and makes it easier to get. However, becoming intoxicated by the attention of others is dangerous for your relationship. The issue arises when a couple is more in love with the glamour of having a social media relationship than an actual bond.

Keeping your relationship private keeps your motivations pure. You want to make sure that every day you decide to move forward in your relationship you are doing so because you couldn’t imagine a life without your partner, not because you are addicted to the false approval of social media viewers. That’s the relationship goals.

3. It gives the chance for your ex to be in your business:

 The only worse than a third party being in your marriage is allowing your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend it could jeopardize the marriage, if the marriage doesn’t have a strong bond. Hell bent and determined to poke holes in your new love affair. Disclosing too much to your ex can leave the relationship vulnerable. “Be wise”.

4.  Everyone won’t be happy for you:

There are some people so distraught with their own lives and will go out of their way to ruin other people’s happiness. The bitter truth is, not everyone wants to see you move forward, and certainly not happy. Sad, yes but true.

This is why you should be careful about expressing your complaints to third parties. The less people know about your personal life, the less they have to speak on.

5. It can displease your spouse:

Most of our spouse’s doesn’t like the idea of allowing third party in the marriage so any time you share problems with others, it can displease the spouse and even become embarrassing.

 It can damage their image in front of others and while you and your spouse have moved on about the issue, the third party may not and it can affect their relationship with your partner.

6.   You tend to put too much pressure on your relationship:

This is particularly true when you are a “social media couple”. Every little thing you do, you are quick to post online or any trip you go before we know it, it’s on the gram. This has a way of putting a lot of pressure on your relationship.

Relationships are already hard work without feeling the need to impress other people. Give your relationship and your partner a stress free environment to learn, make mistakes, and evolve without feeling weighed down by the need to uphold a false image created by social media.

7.    Why should you not keep your marriage private?

Honestly, keeping your marriage a private affair saves you a whole lot of headache and even make the marriage peaceful and blissful so why should you not? Fine you may not keep it a secret but really, you should keep your marriage, your home private!

“I take God beg una” Don’t fail us this time again – Tuface begs old and new politicians

Nigerian superstar musician, Innocent Idibia aka Tubaba has called on both newly elected politicians and the old ones not to fail Nigerians this time around.

The “African Queen” crooner said this in a tweet he posted on Sunday via his Twitter account.

The singer who wrote in pidgin English said the level of mediocrity and shamelessness has become too much, adding that the nonsense must stop.

He tweeted in pidgin English: I take God beg una the new and old politicians wey just enter. Make una no fail us again o. The mediocre level and shamelessness don 2 much! Haba,!! Including me and all Naija people. If u support nonsense u sef be nonsense

“I take God beg una” Don’t fail us this time again – Tuface begs old and new politicians

Nigerian superstar musician, Innocent Idibia aka Tubaba has called on both newly elected politicians and the old ones not to fail Nigerians this time around.

The “African Queen” crooner said this in a tweet he posted on Sunday via his Twitter account.

The singer who wrote in pidgin English said the level of mediocrity and shamelessness has become too much, adding that the nonsense must stop.

He tweeted in pidgin English: I take God beg una the new and old politicians wey just enter. Make una no fail us again o. The mediocre level and shamelessness don 2 much! Haba,!! Including me and all Naija people. If u support nonsense u sef be nonsense