Things to know before stepping into a lifetime journey

The beauty and splendor radiating from a newly married couple is a reflection of the joyfulness of hearts. Two hearts joined together beating as one, they pledge their love to each other  beating as one, they pledge their love to each other " to have and to hold till death do us apart." Then, the veil is lifted up as the anxious groom hears the pastor make the long awaited declaration of congulatilty.


Marriage is a holy institution, and should be respected and kept as such.
 Marriage, as noted in the bible, is a microcosm of the relationship between Christ and the church; His unconditional love that led Him to lay down His life bride, thus showing us how love conquers all odds.
In addition, we believe this piece will be a useful resource for beginners in marriage relationship and those marriages are in need of restoration and sustainability.
Our wish is to see many others who read this piece flourish in the garden where the Lord has placed them.
1.Portray a Christ-like Character

Christ-like attitude in the home: There are two places one's faith is usually put to test, at home and on the job.Many average Christian couples spend approximately two third of their work life at home and on their jobs.These are places where there is not much of pretending; where you have got to be yourself; and where you can easily lose your coolness and just let everything out.As a Christian, you are expected to live according to  the word of God.
Doing this your life will be a witness to those around you both unbelievers and those who know your weakness, especially your spouse.

"But as He who called you is holy, you also must be holy in all your conduct." 1Pet.1:15

2.Come Together at the Family Altar
Pray and study the word of God together'
We hear the phrase over and over that a family that "prays together stays together."How true! simply praying together is not enough; the family needs to engage in family devotions including studying the bible together.
Meditating and sharing the word of God together show unity and an attitude of openness towards on another.
...."Blessed is he who reads and those who hear  the word of this prophesy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the time is near." Revelations 1.3

3.Develop Positive and Effective Communication Skills
Sharpen your communication skills
One of the key elements in marriage survival kit is the development and application of effective communication skills. What you say and how you say it can either build or damage marriage beyond repair.If husbands and wives can learn how to express their feelings to each other in an amicable manner, many marriages that ended in divorce will still be alive and well. The earlier one practices good communication skills, the better for the relationship. The couple will be shielded from making several mistakes that could cause heartaches and unrest that dominate many relationships.

Communciation is not only verbal, it is also non-verbal; how you act can bring peace and war.Some people don't say it out, biblically the bible teaches us on how to respond even when we are not pleased with what we hear, A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger""(Proverbs 15:11) I see many marriages on the rocks as a result of verbal abuse.
Kindly, learn to practice the lip-lock mechanism:
Allow your spouse to finish talking; be gentle, be patient, and pray along.You do not have to respond to every statement
"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."

7 signs Your Ex Is Not Over You

Parting ways with a loved one can be a painful affair and more
often than not , letting go seems impossible .

When you do manage to move on , it becomes uncomfortable when
you realise that your ex - lover has not moved on and is still
“ hoovering ” .
While easy to confuse with sincere attempts of reconciliation ,
hoovering is a manipulation tactic that someone might use to suck
you back into a potentially toxic relationship .

In case you are wondering if your ex is hoovering you, these are
signs to look out for .

Contacting you out of the blue
A random text or call from an ex without any heads up can leave
you with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach . It can be an
attempt to reel you back into a toxic relationship or bring up
nostalgic memories. Watch out for questions aimed at making you
go down memory lane with hopes of going back there .

Acting repentant
They might act overly apologetic about past events and try to
convince you they have changed. When used as a hoovering tactic ,
these apologies are performative and have manipulative
undertones.

Reaching out on important dates
There is a high probability your ex knows dates and holidays
important to you so reaching out to you during such periods could
either be sincere or another way of ensuring you answer their
texts or phone calls. Calling you on a birthday or sending a
congratulatory text could be a way to get you to lower your guard.
Declaring their undying love
It is no brainer that your ex still wants you if they make
proclamations of love .

Showering you with gifts
We all speak different love languages and if yours happen to be
receiving gifts , be wary of an ex that showers you with lavish or
expensive gifts . These gestures could be a manipulative tactic
meant to make you feel indebted to them .

Using other people to get to you
Beware of the hoover by proxy, which can happen when your ex
plays the victim and tries to get other people to reach out to you
on their behalf .

It Is Better To Wait And Marry Right Than Marry Wrong – Lilian Afegbai

Lilian Afegbai

Actress Lilian Afegbai has taken to social media to dish out a piece of advice for single ladies.

According to Lilian, it is better to wait and marry right than marrying the wrong person adding that there are so many ”f**kboys and men” out there.

Read her post below:

LADIES: If you don’t start respecting yourself and dignity as a woman. No man will start working hard and structuring your life. It’s not easy to make millions but it’s very achievable if you work hard and also work smart. These men want you to keep asking them for one million, instead of helping you achieve your goals. They know if you start investing in yourself, they can’t make you feel less anymore……. Relationship would come eventually.

It’s better to wait and marry right than marry wrong. So many f**k boys/ men out there.

We have all done things we are not proud of, that shouldn’t define you. Nobody in this world is a saint, na who dem catch na em be thief. It’s not too late to focus and achieve all your heart desires!!!!!!!!! If you are from a poor background, change your story. That should not be an excuse to settle !!!!”

10 ways to tell your partner to lose weight without hurting them

Discussing someone’s weight is never a comfortable conversation. It might even be tricky if it involves your partner.

As difficult as it may be, it is important to discuss it as this could actually affect your relationship.

Here are 10 ways to get the message across, in some subtle ways.

Assess the need to discuss weight.

The first and most important thing to do is to access the need to have such a discussion.

If your partner remains within a healthy weight bracket and only loses or puts on a couple of pounds, there is no need to bring up the issue. Also, some medications and/or hormonal changes (e.g. pregnancy or midlife hormonal changes in men and women) can result in weight change that your partner has little control over. If your partner is gaining or losing an unhealthy amount of weight for a reason that is within their control, it might warrant a discussion about their health and happiness.

• If your partner is within normal weight range, encourage healthy eating and fitness, but don’t push them to lose or gain more weight. Instead, aim for maintenance of good habits as a lifestyle approach to health.
• You might also consider if your partner’s weight has affected their ability to participate in certain activities, such as playing with your kids, going out on dates, or keeping up with simple household tasks.
• Consider how quickly your partner’s weight has changed as well. If your partner has suddenly gained or lost a noticeable amount of weight, then you may want to bring this up. If your partner gained or lost weight over a period of years, then it might not be a cause for concern if they are healthy otherwise.

Wait for a good time to bring it up

Keep in mind that most people who are over or underweight are very aware of this fact. They do not necessarily need to be told that they have a weight problem but might need a supportive dialogue to help them stay motivated to stay healthy.

The very best moment to begin talking about weight loss or weight gain is when your partner complains or mentions being unhappy about their weight.

They might comment that they are having trouble putting on an old pair of pants or are unhappy with how they look standing in front of the mirror. This is a clear indication that they have acknowledged the weight change, and they are unhappy with it.

Tell your partner that you are concerned about them

If your partner’s weight appears to be unhealthy to you, you might decide it needs to be discussed. Once you bring up the discussion, you need to make it clear to your partner that you are concerned about their health, happiness and your relationship.

Mention the things that the two of you enjoy, and how those things would be affected if your partner’s health was to take a hit.

Make it clear that you are still attracted to your partner

The truth is the moment you bring up the weight gain issue with your partner, he or she begins to feel insecure.

Any person would be hurt if they believed their partner was no longer attracted to them. When you discuss your partner’s weight, you need to be certain to reassure them that you are attracted to them. Knowing that you still love them and find them attractive will help your partner stay confident and give them the strength to make healthy changes.

Make a point to say things like “I am only bringing this up because I love you, and want you to stay healthy. It doesn’t change how I feel about you, or how attracted I am to you.”

Make love and health the centrepieces of the conversation

Telling your partner that they are unattractive or lazy will only drive a wedge between the two of you, and hurt them emotionally. This kind of language has no place in a loving conversation. Instead, you should focus on how much you care for your partner and want them to remain healthy.

Do not use health as a way to guilt your partner. Saying things like “If you really loved me, you’d take care of yourself,” is damaging to the relationship, and simply untrue.

Use “I” statements to keep blame off of your partner. Say something like “ What can I do to help?”

Leave criticism out of the conversation

Criticizing a person for their weight will leave them emotionally hurt, and damage your relationship. This kind of criticism also makes it harder for the person to confide in you and can lead to secret binge eating or purging.

More often than not, the criticism becomes yet another roadblock to losing or gaining a healthy amount of weight instead of motivation.

Saying something like “You keep gaining weight because you won’t stop eating junks,” will only make your partner uncomfortable with you knowing their food choices. Instead, you could say something more constructive.

Keep your opinion in perspective

Your partner is likely to be aware that their clothes don’t fit as they used to but may not treat the issue as seriously as you do. It could be a wake-up call for your partner that you do see this as a major health issue. Be careful not to shame or embarrass your partner when bringing up your concerns.

For example, if your partner mentions that they can’t wear their favourite pair of jeans anymore you could say something like “If you’d like, we can start going for walks and see if we can both fit back into our old clothes.”

Consider your partner’s mental health

Sometimes weight changes may result from challenges like work pressures (stress), depression or anxiety. Weight changes can also be associated with sadness and loss, such after the death of a loved one or the loss of a job. Talking to a health professional can help sort out mental health issues as well as physical ones.

Motivation, not pressure

Suggest activities you can do together and that guarantee a healthier lifestyle for both of you. Jogging as a couple, taking dance classes or cooking fresh, healthy meals several times per week are excellent examples. You’ll burn additional calories and strengthen your relationship at the same time.

Celebrate victories

Don’t forget to celebrate even the smallest victories. If your partner gains or loses two pounds toward their goal weight, go to the movies together or treat your partner to a manicure or massage. Mark each victory with a celebration so that they know that you’re truly rooting for their success.

Kissing skill for great sex

O NE of the many skills needed to enjoy great sex in marriage is kissing. As a needful prelude to the act of sex, kissing has a magic wand that brings intoxication for sex. So, if you don’t want to be caught in the web of sex , kissing must be avoided like a plague. It can be likened to the fact that anyone who does not want to get pregnant, must also not engage in sex. So, great sex in marriage is consequent on kissing skill.

That is why I am presenting this write up, which is an extract from a write up on the Internet. I have also edited it for the purpose of married couples.

Scientifically proven, a good kiss is like a drug. With cranial nerves this has to do with the part of the skull that embraces the brain) in action during an awesome kiss, the brain too plays a role to assemble every vital detail about the other person, one is provided with the sync, and feels high and rejuvenated. But as you may know, not every kisser gives you an experience so good that you are left awed and craving. Only a good kisser knows how to kiss well enough, whether it’s just brushing of the cheeks or a lip to lip kiss, the fact remains that there are certain foolproof ways tokiss that you must know in order to make kissing worthwhile.

Below are some of such romantic, unforgettable tips ofkissing that would help you connect, communicate and make your partner yearn for you every other moment.

Tip1: Kiss is more than just lips doing the business

The best kiss doesn’t happen with just lips coming together. A good kisser uses hands to cup the partner’s face or run it down the spine to make the experience unforgettable.

kissing skill

Tip2: Set the stage

Well, less is more! So, a good kisser begins gently before sinking into a passionate kiss. One needs to play cool and set the stage: sensuous talks, dim lights and it’s all sorted.

• Keep calm & balm

A super pillowy feel comes with a good balm. And never in the history have best kisses ever happened with a dry, flaky lip. Since, not every time shall your lips be kissably soft, keep the lip balm handy!

Tip3: know the rhythm

Keep your head moving like a continuous slow, wave. Follow each other’s lead and find a flow that works for both of you so that you’re both on the same page.

• Mind your tongue

Since, there are different ways of kissing, you need to be sure about the next move. Your tongue need not always be in action and when it is, keep it in moderation without using it for a facial wash, or choke your spouse.

Tip 4: Make it unpredictable, full of surprises. Understand your partner’s kissing style and keep them on the toes by trying different kissing techniques in one go. Go with the flow but make sure you are not very predictable (read: boring) in your act.

Tip5: Be multifacted

There are different types of kisses. Whether it’s a hot kiss or a I-care-for-you kiss, each one has a story. Make sure you tell your story right by following a certain momentum, and give your feelings a beautiful outlet. That is, speak with your kiss.

Tip6: Moan

Do not shy away from letting out those little squeaks of satisfaction. They will act as a great turn on and help your partner give more into the moment. Moaning is a push to give more.

Finally, appreciate your Partner by giving him/her a positive feedback so that your partner feels good after the kiss. And the better your partner feels about it, the more they will look forward to kissing you. So, pay attention to learning about how bestkissing can be executed to achieve the desired end result- great sex.

Happy Kissing, folks!

Man Proposes More Than 30 Times, Girlfriend Misses Clues

The internet has seen many marriage proposals and while some
have had us gushing about how adorable/ romantic it is , some got
nothing but cringes from internet users.

It is understandable that proposing to your partner could be a
nerve - wracking experience but more and more people are coming
up with creative ways to pop the question. An example of a
creative person is Colton Vaters , a father of two who proposed to
his girlfriend, Danielle Campbell more than 30 times behind her
back.
Danielle Campbell with the ring on her back | Photo – Colton
Vaters
The Canadian revealed that he was inspired by another man who
did the same thing when he had his ring but had no idea on how
to ask Campbell to be his wife. All he knew was that he wanted it
to be a romantic and fun proposal that could be caught on record.
It was around this time he came across the story of Edi Okoro,
who took photos of his fiancée and the ring at the same time
without her knowledge in more and more daring scenarios .
“ Game on, ” said Colton in a post which quickly went viral on
Facebook . “ I started taking the ring with me everywhere I
went , and taking as many photos as I could without her
noticing. I also left the ring in various spots throughout the
house for different periods of time .”
Colton Vaters with the ring at a supermarket | Photo – Colton
Vaters
According to him, he attached it to her handbag , put it in their
mailbox, held the ring up as they walked through a supermarket
and even put in her hand as she slept in bed. If he was ever
caught, he would propose there and then. He ended up taking
more than 30 photos without Campbell knowing . This went on for
weeks before he finally proposed to her .
“ It all went to plan and I would highly recommend this to
anyone planning on asking the big question in the future , ” he
added. “ It was a cool way to make the proposal fun and take
the stress away. ”

3 Signs Your Partner Is “Self Entitled”

Most relationships these days suffer from this common issue
known as Self - entitlement . Basically , this is when an individual
perceives themselves as deserving of unearned privileges.
These are the people who believe life owes them something; a
reward, a measure of success, a particular standard of living
among many other mundane things.

To be on the safe side , here are three common traits to be on the
lookout for:
Having The “Me Before You ” Mentality
A sense of entitlement brings with it an uncompromising attitude .
There is a lack of understanding of others ’ needs and of certain
social situations , accompanied by an expectation that you should
be far more interested in their life than they are in yours .
There is an over- exaggerated sense of self- importance
accompanied by fantasies of power , beauty and brilliance .
Compromises, that require one to meet others halfway, don ’t exist
in the world of the entitled . Everyone else is either competition –
threatening their own success – or irrelevant.

Double Standards
Whilst being unyielding to the requests of others , self- entitled
individuals make unrealistic demands, oblivious that their
personal happiness comes at another ’s expense.
Ungrateful attitudes are often directed at you after you have
performed a good deed for them . You might constantly change
your routine to accommodate their plans, for instance, but they
never offer to return the favour, even when you really need it.
Plus , they often appear totally oblivious to the inconvenience they
have caused you.

The feeling of Justified Rage
The self- entitled are no strangers to confrontation. Often known
for fits of rage surpassing any tantrum a toddler may throw , their
ruthless, egotistical stance allows them to believe this is justified .
Their anger can simmer passively too ; rolled eyes signal their
contempt for those around them . Simmering negativity is
displayed in cynical and overly critical viewpoints.

Six signs to show your partner is truly committed to you

Before you can determine the seriousness of your relationship, it is imperative to be able to have conversations about tough subjects with your partner, such as having a clear idea of what being ‘committed’ means to you and learn about your partner’s definition of it.

You could be dating your partner for a while and think things are going great. But you can never really know for sure unless they actually tell you how they feel about you.

You should also know that for some, being comfortable enough to express how they feel takes time. So here is how to tell if your partner is truly committed to what you share:

They speak in “We”

Bringing your partner into your world is an essential part of a relationship and a proof of commitment.

People in committed relationships speak about themselves as “we.” This simply means that they are bringing you into their lives and making you part of many of the things they do.

They are highly satisfied

The strongest predictor of commitment is satisfaction. If you are highly satisfied, you are often committed.

They see their relationship as better

Committed partners tend to believe their relationships are better than other people’s relationships.

They don’t pay attention to potential alternative partners. They don’t even notice attractive people around them.

They make sacrifices

What is commitment without sacrifice? Committed partners make sacrifices for each other and don’t expect favours to be returned, at least not immediately. They have a more long-range view of things and make decisions based on what’s best for the relationship, not what’s best for themselves as individuals.

They are always ready to try new things with you

Trying new things is scary. There’s always the possibility of failure and nobody ever wants to look stupid. But if your partner is willing to step outside of their comfort and do something they’ve never done before with you, they’re likely all in.

They are willing to talk about the future

Just because they share something real, serious and genuine, they are willing to have a discussion about the future with you.

If your partner has dropped their walls and let you in, that’s a good sign they are serious about you. A partner who is all in is willing to engage in vulnerable and potentially uncomfortable conversations.

Six signs to show your partner is truly committed to you

Before you can determine the seriousness of your relationship, it is imperative to be able to have conversations about tough subjects with your partner, such as having a clear idea of what being ‘committed’ means to you and learn about your partner’s definition of it.

You could be dating your partner for a while and think things are going great. But you can never really know for sure unless they actually tell you how they feel about you.

You should also know that for some, being comfortable enough to express how they feel takes time. So here is how to tell if your partner is truly committed to what you share:

They speak in “We”

Bringing your partner into your world is an essential part of a relationship and a proof of commitment.

People in committed relationships speak about themselves as “we.” This simply means that they are bringing you into their lives and making you part of many of the things they do.

They are highly satisfied

The strongest predictor of commitment is satisfaction. If you are highly satisfied, you are often committed.

They see their relationship as better

Committed partners tend to believe their relationships are better than other people’s relationships.

They don’t pay attention to potential alternative partners. They don’t even notice attractive people around them.

They make sacrifices

What is commitment without sacrifice? Committed partners make sacrifices for each other and don’t expect favours to be returned, at least not immediately. They have a more long-range view of things and make decisions based on what’s best for the relationship, not what’s best for themselves as individuals.

They are always ready to try new things with you

Trying new things is scary. There’s always the possibility of failure and nobody ever wants to look stupid. But if your partner is willing to step outside of their comfort and do something they’ve never done before with you, they’re likely all in.

They are willing to talk about the future

Just because they share something real, serious and genuine, they are willing to have a discussion about the future with you.

If your partner has dropped their walls and let you in, that’s a good sign they are serious about you. A partner who is all in is willing to engage in vulnerable and potentially uncomfortable conversations.

4 Tips On How To Apologise In Your Relationship

Couples
Apologising is one thing that most people find difficult.
Apologising is you throwing yourself at the mercy of the person
you have wronged and hoping they forgive you. Forgiveness is a
choice that is left for the other party, however, it also depends on
how sincere you are with your apology .
In a relationship , it is essential that you leave your ego and learn
how to say sorry when the need arises and in the most sincere
way . Below are some tips on how to apologise in a relationship :
Be the bigger person
Sometimes , be the bigger person in your relationship especially,
when both of you are in the wrong and no one wants to apologise.
This is a piece of the compromise of being in a relationship . And
sometimes your partner will do the same for you. Putting things
off too long just gives time for resentment and anger to build. It is
okay to later discuss how your partner made you feel about the
situation when you must have resolved the issue.
Apologise the right way
You need to drop all pride and apologise the right way , no ifs, no
buts, just sincere apologies. This will go a long way to show how
sincere you are . Be open about how you feel when you apologise ,
this will open doors to discuss your feelings and be very open to
each other .
Listen
It is important that you listen to what your partner also has to say
when it comes to your relationship . It will not be fair to just
apologies without getting to know how they feel about your
apology . This means tuning in , putting yourself in their shoes, and
acknowledging you heard what they said . It ’s not the time to
interrupt or disagree . It ’s just time to listen .
Let your actions speak
It is not okay to just apologise and not change the way you act.
Your actions should also show how sincere you are with your
apologies. Your actions in this situation will speak louder than
your words. If you don ’ t follow through , you’re not just making
your partner mad, but you’ ve crossed the line into violating your
partner’ s trust

4 Positive Habits That Can Influence Your Relationship

Relationships normally have their ups and downs , however, there
are some powerful habits that can positively influence any
relationship . It is important for you to be deliberate when
creating routines, especially for your relationship . You will need
to make an effort every single day to practice them so they
become second nature to you. Below are some habits that can
positively influence and affect your relationship :

Respect
Always show respect to your partner , both publicly and
privately. When you express respect towards your partner , you
are expressing your love , acceptance, and warmth. When you
express disrespect , you are expressing that you don ’t accept your
partner. Also , respect your partner ’s opinion and differences.
Reconnect
After each day, try to reconnect with your partner . Have solid
discussions about your day and the things that must have
happened. Also , acts such as sending a loving text during your
lunch break or giving your partner a call on the way home . This
habit is meant to keep the connection you have with your partner .
Even if you have a hectic schedule , you can still make the time to
send a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative.
Think of ways that you can do to reconnect with your partner
throughout the day.
Cooking and cleaning
When you do house chores such as cooking and cleaning with
your partner , you will always be able to connect with them
better. The habit of cooking together creates intimacy , connection
and love ; making and eating food becomes an intimate act when
you are with your partner . This is a perfect opportunity to spend
quality time together .
Also, if you or your partner prefers doing the cooking , make it a
habit that the other person cleans . This eases your partner and
makes these moment a moment of bonding between you and your
partner.
Empathise
Happy couples take the time to empathize with their partner when
they disagree or have differing points of views . When a spouse is
experiencing difficulty or discussing something important to
them , it’ s critical to try to take their side by attempting to
understand them . Steven Hardebeck, LPC , Gottman level 2 trained
therapist states that “ Taking your partner ’s side requires each
individual to postpone their own point of view and look at their
partner’ s world from his or her perspective .”

Nurturing your relationship

 I thank for God for another opportunity to write you from the platform. It is my prayer that you will be abundantly blessed today. I know you have been blessed with the previous teachings.

Today, we shall equally be looking at another powerful factor that can help you to nurture and grow your relationship as a married man. This article will teach you the qualities you need to possess for you to be a man of your wife’ s dream. You want to know what qualities your wife expects from you? ‘Be the Man of Her Dreams!

Before marriage, many women lay out the kind of qualities they want their future husbands to possess. In this section I want us to look at the typical characteristics of a “dream” man.

He is loving

This ‘dream man’ is loving. Following the example of Christ and the Church, this man does not wait for his wife to be perfect before he loves her. He is steadfast in his demonstration of love for his wife, believing that love is not love until it is expressed. He hugs, touches, buys her gifts and generally is caring and goes to great lengths to convince his family of his love.

In expressing his love, he consciously ignores the negative and unattractive things about the members of his family. He thinks no evil of them. He calls his wife a virtuous woman and so motivates her to live up to his expectations. He calls his children gifted and intelligent children but disciplines them in love when necessary.

He is Caring

The typical dream man must be caring. He must be concerned at all times about the welfare of members of his family. He cherishes, nourishes and ravishes his family members with care. He makes time to be with them and is always there when he is needed; he is not too busy to listen to them.

He is a Worker

Every woman’s dream man is a worker! He is one with working hands not collecting hands. He doesn’t collect foodstuff from his mother, money from his father, clothing’s from his uncle. He does something productive to sustain his family.

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel”1 Timothy 5:8.

He is a Provider

In providing for his family, the dream man puts his total trust in God, not his salary (Psalm 62:5). He recognizes that he has absolute covenant responsibility to provide for the needs of his family and does so with delight. Like my husband would humorously say, “God is Jehovah Jireh, while the man is ‘Home Jireh.’ Jehovah is the Almighty provider, the family man is the home provider” he does not send his wife begging for what to eat, wear or drink.

He is a Giver

This dream man recognizes the importance of Kingdom investment and the hidden covenants of blessings (being a blessing to one’s parents). He diligently invests in the Kingdom of God and is liberal to members of his extended family. In addition, he gives to those in need.

He is an Intercessor

Like Jesus who is presently praying for the church, this dream man invests time praying for his family. He recognizes that prayer is the means by which the power of God is released to the believer so he faithfully prays for them.

He does not find it hard to say, “I am Sorry”

Some men find it hard to say, “I am sorry, please forgive me,” because of their ego. But, the dream man does not let his ego stand between him and his wife or children. Man, don’t give room to the devil to bring problems to your home. Learn to say “I am sorry” when you offend your wife. It works! If you do that, eyeball-to-eyeball, you will see her countenance change! You will make it!

            For you to be able to possess good qualities that will make your relationship to last, you need a good relationship with Christ.  If, peradventure, you, the reader, is not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! 

As a lady, would you propose marriage to a guy?

It is not new that the lifelong institution called marriage has always witnessed men proposing to ladies; but the latest trend in the society is moving away from the age-long tradition as women are taking the bull by the horns to propose to their male partners. This might not seem strange to many although it goes against the convention backed by religious practice in this part of the world that a man would leave his parents to cleave to a woman and they shall become one. Proposing marriage is an open request from the men to women, it ordinarily involves the man begging for an affirmation or negation as to a new lease of life together. However, with the recent trend of women proposing marriage, would you as a lady propose marriage to a guy?

On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert have to say on the issue:

Anita Nwosu

I will not try such but if he refuses to propose then I can give signs that I want to be proposed to.

Rachel Oladiran

I won’t. He is my fiancé and I believe he will propose at some point.  If he doesn’t, it might be because he doesn’t want me or something. So, I will rather wait for him to propose.

Comfort Abolade

I can’t make such move. I can only do that if I am a foreigner.

Annette Chikodi

Never. I like ring but that does not mean I’ve to propose to a man to get one. Believe me, and I love myself too much to do that.

Balikis Jimoh

Yes, I can.  If the feelings are mutual and obvious and I realised that if I don’t get married to him, I would be a loser at the end. It doesn’t matter who proposes. As far as there’s love, trust and understanding, we’re good to go.

Debbie Ochogwu

I will do it but only because I want to. Humanly speaking, I always do whatever I want to do without much regards to societal norms.

Favour Uka

I don’t think I would, Well, I believe I’m to be chased; sought after and the proposal is part of this process. Proverbs 18:22 ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord”

Margret Bolaji

As a lady I can’t propose to a guy. It’s not ideal for a lady to propose to a guy (in culture) we all know it might go wrong.

Blessing Owuh

Well, I won’t really propose marriage to him directly. What I will do is to ask him if he is ready or willing to marry me.  If his response is positive, we go on, if otherwise, then I have to end the relationship.

Similoluwa Ayeleke

I won’t like to propose to a guy because the guy will be thinking that I might be feeling that he is not capable enough which will eventually result to me not enjoying my marriage as a result of that.

Busola Sebiotimo

I won’t. I’m a woman. I’m to be pursued. When I start doing the pursuing, something is wrong. I cannot love my man more than he loves me so I shouldn’t be more eager to marry him by proposing marriage to him.

Happiness Udoh

As Nigerians, our culture doesn’t permit that; and the Bible says, “that the man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife,” not the woman doing such! This means that a woman isn’t supposed to propose to a man.  But in a case where a woman does that, it means that she’s so desperate to settle down with the man.

Expert Speaks

Kemi Akinbobola, a marriage and relationship counsellor is our expert on this issue.

A lady who proposes marriage to a man has lost her self-worth because the man would first call her names when things begin to go sour. Such a lady will never be good for a man who is not ready for commitment. Ladies are precious jewels that should be cherished and sought after, not the other way around.  And they should note that a man can never achieve his complete purpose in life without them. Thus, a lady proposing marriage to a guy should be likened to a jewel handed over to a pig, it can never know the value. It is not a crime when a lady asks the question on what next? When the relationship is going forever without a focus.  Also, not to forget that marriage is a two-way thing, the lady and the guy.  A guy who fails to propose is not ready due to some reasons best known to him. And as such, communication would go a long way to put an end to unending questions begging for answers. When a lady proposes, she has put such a guy in a tight and unpleasant corner and would feel forced to accept something he is not prepared for especially if he is a ‘nice guy’ and does not want to turn her down. Marriage is a grounded institution with processes that should be followed to the letter. A miss in those processes could cause a life-long pain and regret. In my view, the dog should always go after the bone and never the bone after the dog.

5 Love Languages That Can Enhance Your Relationship

People tend to find it difficult to understand other people’s love
language and often, this makes relationships very difficult. It is
essential that you understand your partner ’ s love language , this
helps you understand their actions and inaction. Below are some
of the love languages that exist.
Words of affirmation
This love language depends on verbal appreciation from a loved
one. It does not have to be complicated , it could be as simple as a
thank you. Words mean a lot to your partner if they have this love
language and you must be ready to appreciate them as often as
possible. Also , negative words and insults can also affect them
deeply and it might put an end to your relationship .
Gifts
Some people appreciates giving of gifts and when they do not get
gifts from their loved ones , they assume they are not loved. Once
you notice your partner loves gifts , it is essential that you shower
them with it. These gifts do not necessarily have to be expensive
or so big , it could be buying them their favourite drink or meal .
This matters a lot to people like this.
Acts of service
These sets of people believe in your actions, their mantra is
“ action speaks louder than words ” . When you have a partner with
this love language , you have to do things that will show you care
about them . It could be doing the dishes while they cook or doing
the laundry while they attend to other things . All these things must
be done with a positive attitude and with smile . Once things are
done grudgingly , it will turn them off .
Quality time
While some people do not enjoy being disturbed , some want
undivided attention . They want to spend time with their partners ,
have them all to themselves . However , there is a thin line between
wanting to spend quality time with your partner and being clingy .
Every time you cancel meetings or postpone important events , it
can affect your partners .
Physical touch
To this people, touch is very important . They love being cuddled
and touched by their partners , it gives them a sense of safety ,
comfort and belonging . If they are not touched, they might feel
neglected .
It is important that you understand your love language and also
understand that of your partner ’ s .

Tips To Help Build Trust In A Relationship

No relationship can stand the long - time hurdle if trust is lost . As
much as love is important in a relationship , trust is also very
vital. Relationships will only last for a short time if trust is not
present .
Below are some tips to help in building trust in any form of
relationship :
Be true to your words
Trust works when people believe what you say . Building trust
requires not only keeping the promises you make but also not
making promises you are unable to keep. When you are true to
your words, you show others what you expect from them , and in
turn, they will be more likely to treat you with respect, developing
further trust in the process.
Effective communication
Effective communication is key in developing trust. When you are
able to communicate your feelings effectively , people will be able
to know the limits you are able to go and your commitment .
Without effective communication , you may find the messages
you’ve intended to send aren’ t the messages that are received .
Keep secrets
When a partner keeps a secret with you, ensure it is a kept secret,
do not go around discussing what they told you in private . Unless
they bring it up, it is not your duty to discuss it. This helps to build
trust among friends , couples and business partners.
Be supportive
When you are that stage of building trust, it is important to be
supportive . If one person in the relationship doesn’t feel that they
can take a risk , make mistakes or try new things with your
support, the relationship will falter. On the other hand, being
supportive in good times and bad opens us up to living our truth
knowing someone has our back.
Never judge
It is not in your place to judge people when they open up to you,
this makes it difficult for them to trust you. If they are hurt ,
apologise, if they say something is important to them , see it that
way too . This helps build trust in you.
Building trust is a gradual thing and it takes constant effort.

7 reasons you should keep your marriage private

An adage state: “Relationships last longer when nobody knows nothing about it”.

 Relationship is sometimes a reserved place where two people could find solace, trust and support, driven by a commitment to honour, love, and respect.

 Marriages require a few essential elements to maintain. At the top of the list is privacy.

Getting married is one thing, sustaining the marriage is another. In times past, people were very quick to allow others meddle into issues affecting their families, especially when it involves one of the spouses.

While this, in some cases, has its benefits, one of which includes seeing things from another party’s perspective. However, there are a lot of times when extra people were brought into family affairs, and things don’t go in the best direction.

   Given that not everyone actually is happy that you are happy and they are looking for opportunity to spoil the happiness.

Therefore, these are seven reasons you should keep your marriage private

1.      You Open Yourself To Negative Opinions:

Most times when we vent and go about expressing our anger and displeasure about our spouse, we often talk mostly about the partner’s faults and not ours. Also, most times we usually relay these complaints to people close to us, probably our friends or a family member we are close to.

It is likely for that family member of yours to take you side and God help you the person you reported your spouse to dislikes your spouse. This will be the perfect opportunity to “badmouth” your spouse. Hence, you are usually more open to negative opinions when you go outside of your marriage to resolve issues.

2. You can filter pictures, not your relationship:

The evolution of social media has only increased our lust for recognition and makes it easier to get. However, becoming intoxicated by the attention of others is dangerous for your relationship. The issue arises when a couple is more in love with the glamour of having a social media relationship than an actual bond.

Keeping your relationship private keeps your motivations pure. You want to make sure that every day you decide to move forward in your relationship you are doing so because you couldn’t imagine a life without your partner, not because you are addicted to the false approval of social media viewers. That’s the relationship goals.

3. It gives the chance for your ex to be in your business:

 The only worse than a third party being in your marriage is allowing your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend it could jeopardize the marriage, if the marriage doesn’t have a strong bond. Hell bent and determined to poke holes in your new love affair. Disclosing too much to your ex can leave the relationship vulnerable. “Be wise”.

4.  Everyone won’t be happy for you:

There are some people so distraught with their own lives and will go out of their way to ruin other people’s happiness. The bitter truth is, not everyone wants to see you move forward, and certainly not happy. Sad, yes but true.

This is why you should be careful about expressing your complaints to third parties. The less people know about your personal life, the less they have to speak on.

5. It can displease your spouse:

Most of our spouse’s doesn’t like the idea of allowing third party in the marriage so any time you share problems with others, it can displease the spouse and even become embarrassing.

 It can damage their image in front of others and while you and your spouse have moved on about the issue, the third party may not and it can affect their relationship with your partner.

6.   You tend to put too much pressure on your relationship:

This is particularly true when you are a “social media couple”. Every little thing you do, you are quick to post online or any trip you go before we know it, it’s on the gram. This has a way of putting a lot of pressure on your relationship.

Relationships are already hard work without feeling the need to impress other people. Give your relationship and your partner a stress free environment to learn, make mistakes, and evolve without feeling weighed down by the need to uphold a false image created by social media.

7.    Why should you not keep your marriage private?

Honestly, keeping your marriage a private affair saves you a whole lot of headache and even make the marriage peaceful and blissful so why should you not? Fine you may not keep it a secret but really, you should keep your marriage, your home private!