Things to know before stepping into a lifetime journey

The beauty and splendor radiating from a newly married couple is a reflection of the joyfulness of hearts. Two hearts joined together beating as one, they pledge their love to each other  beating as one, they pledge their love to each other " to have and to hold till death do us apart." Then, the veil is lifted up as the anxious groom hears the pastor make the long awaited declaration of congulatilty.


Marriage is a holy institution, and should be respected and kept as such.
 Marriage, as noted in the bible, is a microcosm of the relationship between Christ and the church; His unconditional love that led Him to lay down His life bride, thus showing us how love conquers all odds.
In addition, we believe this piece will be a useful resource for beginners in marriage relationship and those marriages are in need of restoration and sustainability.
Our wish is to see many others who read this piece flourish in the garden where the Lord has placed them.
1.Portray a Christ-like Character

Christ-like attitude in the home: There are two places one's faith is usually put to test, at home and on the job.Many average Christian couples spend approximately two third of their work life at home and on their jobs.These are places where there is not much of pretending; where you have got to be yourself; and where you can easily lose your coolness and just let everything out.As a Christian, you are expected to live according to  the word of God.
Doing this your life will be a witness to those around you both unbelievers and those who know your weakness, especially your spouse.

"But as He who called you is holy, you also must be holy in all your conduct." 1Pet.1:15

2.Come Together at the Family Altar
Pray and study the word of God together'
We hear the phrase over and over that a family that "prays together stays together."How true! simply praying together is not enough; the family needs to engage in family devotions including studying the bible together.
Meditating and sharing the word of God together show unity and an attitude of openness towards on another.
...."Blessed is he who reads and those who hear  the word of this prophesy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the time is near." Revelations 1.3

3.Develop Positive and Effective Communication Skills
Sharpen your communication skills
One of the key elements in marriage survival kit is the development and application of effective communication skills. What you say and how you say it can either build or damage marriage beyond repair.If husbands and wives can learn how to express their feelings to each other in an amicable manner, many marriages that ended in divorce will still be alive and well. The earlier one practices good communication skills, the better for the relationship. The couple will be shielded from making several mistakes that could cause heartaches and unrest that dominate many relationships.

Communciation is not only verbal, it is also non-verbal; how you act can bring peace and war.Some people don't say it out, biblically the bible teaches us on how to respond even when we are not pleased with what we hear, A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger""(Proverbs 15:11) I see many marriages on the rocks as a result of verbal abuse.
Kindly, learn to practice the lip-lock mechanism:
Allow your spouse to finish talking; be gentle, be patient, and pray along.You do not have to respond to every statement
"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."

7 signs Your Ex Is Not Over You

Parting ways with a loved one can be a painful affair and more
often than not , letting go seems impossible .

When you do manage to move on , it becomes uncomfortable when
you realise that your ex - lover has not moved on and is still
“ hoovering ” .
While easy to confuse with sincere attempts of reconciliation ,
hoovering is a manipulation tactic that someone might use to suck
you back into a potentially toxic relationship .

In case you are wondering if your ex is hoovering you, these are
signs to look out for .

Contacting you out of the blue
A random text or call from an ex without any heads up can leave
you with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach . It can be an
attempt to reel you back into a toxic relationship or bring up
nostalgic memories. Watch out for questions aimed at making you
go down memory lane with hopes of going back there .

Acting repentant
They might act overly apologetic about past events and try to
convince you they have changed. When used as a hoovering tactic ,
these apologies are performative and have manipulative
undertones.

Reaching out on important dates
There is a high probability your ex knows dates and holidays
important to you so reaching out to you during such periods could
either be sincere or another way of ensuring you answer their
texts or phone calls. Calling you on a birthday or sending a
congratulatory text could be a way to get you to lower your guard.
Declaring their undying love
It is no brainer that your ex still wants you if they make
proclamations of love .

Showering you with gifts
We all speak different love languages and if yours happen to be
receiving gifts , be wary of an ex that showers you with lavish or
expensive gifts . These gestures could be a manipulative tactic
meant to make you feel indebted to them .

Using other people to get to you
Beware of the hoover by proxy, which can happen when your ex
plays the victim and tries to get other people to reach out to you
on their behalf .

It Is Better To Wait And Marry Right Than Marry Wrong – Lilian Afegbai

Lilian Afegbai

Actress Lilian Afegbai has taken to social media to dish out a piece of advice for single ladies.

According to Lilian, it is better to wait and marry right than marrying the wrong person adding that there are so many ”f**kboys and men” out there.

Read her post below:

LADIES: If you don’t start respecting yourself and dignity as a woman. No man will start working hard and structuring your life. It’s not easy to make millions but it’s very achievable if you work hard and also work smart. These men want you to keep asking them for one million, instead of helping you achieve your goals. They know if you start investing in yourself, they can’t make you feel less anymore……. Relationship would come eventually.

It’s better to wait and marry right than marry wrong. So many f**k boys/ men out there.

We have all done things we are not proud of, that shouldn’t define you. Nobody in this world is a saint, na who dem catch na em be thief. It’s not too late to focus and achieve all your heart desires!!!!!!!!! If you are from a poor background, change your story. That should not be an excuse to settle !!!!”

10 ways to tell your partner to lose weight without hurting them

Discussing someone’s weight is never a comfortable conversation. It might even be tricky if it involves your partner.

As difficult as it may be, it is important to discuss it as this could actually affect your relationship.

Here are 10 ways to get the message across, in some subtle ways.

Assess the need to discuss weight.

The first and most important thing to do is to access the need to have such a discussion.

If your partner remains within a healthy weight bracket and only loses or puts on a couple of pounds, there is no need to bring up the issue. Also, some medications and/or hormonal changes (e.g. pregnancy or midlife hormonal changes in men and women) can result in weight change that your partner has little control over. If your partner is gaining or losing an unhealthy amount of weight for a reason that is within their control, it might warrant a discussion about their health and happiness.

• If your partner is within normal weight range, encourage healthy eating and fitness, but don’t push them to lose or gain more weight. Instead, aim for maintenance of good habits as a lifestyle approach to health.
• You might also consider if your partner’s weight has affected their ability to participate in certain activities, such as playing with your kids, going out on dates, or keeping up with simple household tasks.
• Consider how quickly your partner’s weight has changed as well. If your partner has suddenly gained or lost a noticeable amount of weight, then you may want to bring this up. If your partner gained or lost weight over a period of years, then it might not be a cause for concern if they are healthy otherwise.

Wait for a good time to bring it up

Keep in mind that most people who are over or underweight are very aware of this fact. They do not necessarily need to be told that they have a weight problem but might need a supportive dialogue to help them stay motivated to stay healthy.

The very best moment to begin talking about weight loss or weight gain is when your partner complains or mentions being unhappy about their weight.

They might comment that they are having trouble putting on an old pair of pants or are unhappy with how they look standing in front of the mirror. This is a clear indication that they have acknowledged the weight change, and they are unhappy with it.

Tell your partner that you are concerned about them

If your partner’s weight appears to be unhealthy to you, you might decide it needs to be discussed. Once you bring up the discussion, you need to make it clear to your partner that you are concerned about their health, happiness and your relationship.

Mention the things that the two of you enjoy, and how those things would be affected if your partner’s health was to take a hit.

Make it clear that you are still attracted to your partner

The truth is the moment you bring up the weight gain issue with your partner, he or she begins to feel insecure.

Any person would be hurt if they believed their partner was no longer attracted to them. When you discuss your partner’s weight, you need to be certain to reassure them that you are attracted to them. Knowing that you still love them and find them attractive will help your partner stay confident and give them the strength to make healthy changes.

Make a point to say things like “I am only bringing this up because I love you, and want you to stay healthy. It doesn’t change how I feel about you, or how attracted I am to you.”

Make love and health the centrepieces of the conversation

Telling your partner that they are unattractive or lazy will only drive a wedge between the two of you, and hurt them emotionally. This kind of language has no place in a loving conversation. Instead, you should focus on how much you care for your partner and want them to remain healthy.

Do not use health as a way to guilt your partner. Saying things like “If you really loved me, you’d take care of yourself,” is damaging to the relationship, and simply untrue.

Use “I” statements to keep blame off of your partner. Say something like “ What can I do to help?”

Leave criticism out of the conversation

Criticizing a person for their weight will leave them emotionally hurt, and damage your relationship. This kind of criticism also makes it harder for the person to confide in you and can lead to secret binge eating or purging.

More often than not, the criticism becomes yet another roadblock to losing or gaining a healthy amount of weight instead of motivation.

Saying something like “You keep gaining weight because you won’t stop eating junks,” will only make your partner uncomfortable with you knowing their food choices. Instead, you could say something more constructive.

Keep your opinion in perspective

Your partner is likely to be aware that their clothes don’t fit as they used to but may not treat the issue as seriously as you do. It could be a wake-up call for your partner that you do see this as a major health issue. Be careful not to shame or embarrass your partner when bringing up your concerns.

For example, if your partner mentions that they can’t wear their favourite pair of jeans anymore you could say something like “If you’d like, we can start going for walks and see if we can both fit back into our old clothes.”

Consider your partner’s mental health

Sometimes weight changes may result from challenges like work pressures (stress), depression or anxiety. Weight changes can also be associated with sadness and loss, such after the death of a loved one or the loss of a job. Talking to a health professional can help sort out mental health issues as well as physical ones.

Motivation, not pressure

Suggest activities you can do together and that guarantee a healthier lifestyle for both of you. Jogging as a couple, taking dance classes or cooking fresh, healthy meals several times per week are excellent examples. You’ll burn additional calories and strengthen your relationship at the same time.

Celebrate victories

Don’t forget to celebrate even the smallest victories. If your partner gains or loses two pounds toward their goal weight, go to the movies together or treat your partner to a manicure or massage. Mark each victory with a celebration so that they know that you’re truly rooting for their success.

Kissing skill for great sex

O NE of the many skills needed to enjoy great sex in marriage is kissing. As a needful prelude to the act of sex, kissing has a magic wand that brings intoxication for sex. So, if you don’t want to be caught in the web of sex , kissing must be avoided like a plague. It can be likened to the fact that anyone who does not want to get pregnant, must also not engage in sex. So, great sex in marriage is consequent on kissing skill.

That is why I am presenting this write up, which is an extract from a write up on the Internet. I have also edited it for the purpose of married couples.

Scientifically proven, a good kiss is like a drug. With cranial nerves this has to do with the part of the skull that embraces the brain) in action during an awesome kiss, the brain too plays a role to assemble every vital detail about the other person, one is provided with the sync, and feels high and rejuvenated. But as you may know, not every kisser gives you an experience so good that you are left awed and craving. Only a good kisser knows how to kiss well enough, whether it’s just brushing of the cheeks or a lip to lip kiss, the fact remains that there are certain foolproof ways tokiss that you must know in order to make kissing worthwhile.

Below are some of such romantic, unforgettable tips ofkissing that would help you connect, communicate and make your partner yearn for you every other moment.

Tip1: Kiss is more than just lips doing the business

The best kiss doesn’t happen with just lips coming together. A good kisser uses hands to cup the partner’s face or run it down the spine to make the experience unforgettable.

kissing skill

Tip2: Set the stage

Well, less is more! So, a good kisser begins gently before sinking into a passionate kiss. One needs to play cool and set the stage: sensuous talks, dim lights and it’s all sorted.

• Keep calm & balm

A super pillowy feel comes with a good balm. And never in the history have best kisses ever happened with a dry, flaky lip. Since, not every time shall your lips be kissably soft, keep the lip balm handy!

Tip3: know the rhythm

Keep your head moving like a continuous slow, wave. Follow each other’s lead and find a flow that works for both of you so that you’re both on the same page.

• Mind your tongue

Since, there are different ways of kissing, you need to be sure about the next move. Your tongue need not always be in action and when it is, keep it in moderation without using it for a facial wash, or choke your spouse.

Tip 4: Make it unpredictable, full of surprises. Understand your partner’s kissing style and keep them on the toes by trying different kissing techniques in one go. Go with the flow but make sure you are not very predictable (read: boring) in your act.

Tip5: Be multifacted

There are different types of kisses. Whether it’s a hot kiss or a I-care-for-you kiss, each one has a story. Make sure you tell your story right by following a certain momentum, and give your feelings a beautiful outlet. That is, speak with your kiss.

Tip6: Moan

Do not shy away from letting out those little squeaks of satisfaction. They will act as a great turn on and help your partner give more into the moment. Moaning is a push to give more.

Finally, appreciate your Partner by giving him/her a positive feedback so that your partner feels good after the kiss. And the better your partner feels about it, the more they will look forward to kissing you. So, pay attention to learning about how bestkissing can be executed to achieve the desired end result- great sex.

Happy Kissing, folks!

Man Proposes More Than 30 Times, Girlfriend Misses Clues

The internet has seen many marriage proposals and while some
have had us gushing about how adorable/ romantic it is , some got
nothing but cringes from internet users.

It is understandable that proposing to your partner could be a
nerve - wracking experience but more and more people are coming
up with creative ways to pop the question. An example of a
creative person is Colton Vaters , a father of two who proposed to
his girlfriend, Danielle Campbell more than 30 times behind her
back.
Danielle Campbell with the ring on her back | Photo – Colton
Vaters
The Canadian revealed that he was inspired by another man who
did the same thing when he had his ring but had no idea on how
to ask Campbell to be his wife. All he knew was that he wanted it
to be a romantic and fun proposal that could be caught on record.
It was around this time he came across the story of Edi Okoro,
who took photos of his fiancée and the ring at the same time
without her knowledge in more and more daring scenarios .
“ Game on, ” said Colton in a post which quickly went viral on
Facebook . “ I started taking the ring with me everywhere I
went , and taking as many photos as I could without her
noticing. I also left the ring in various spots throughout the
house for different periods of time .”
Colton Vaters with the ring at a supermarket | Photo – Colton
Vaters
According to him, he attached it to her handbag , put it in their
mailbox, held the ring up as they walked through a supermarket
and even put in her hand as she slept in bed. If he was ever
caught, he would propose there and then. He ended up taking
more than 30 photos without Campbell knowing . This went on for
weeks before he finally proposed to her .
“ It all went to plan and I would highly recommend this to
anyone planning on asking the big question in the future , ” he
added. “ It was a cool way to make the proposal fun and take
the stress away. ”

3 Signs Your Partner Is “Self Entitled”

Most relationships these days suffer from this common issue
known as Self - entitlement . Basically , this is when an individual
perceives themselves as deserving of unearned privileges.
These are the people who believe life owes them something; a
reward, a measure of success, a particular standard of living
among many other mundane things.

To be on the safe side , here are three common traits to be on the
lookout for:
Having The “Me Before You ” Mentality
A sense of entitlement brings with it an uncompromising attitude .
There is a lack of understanding of others ’ needs and of certain
social situations , accompanied by an expectation that you should
be far more interested in their life than they are in yours .
There is an over- exaggerated sense of self- importance
accompanied by fantasies of power , beauty and brilliance .
Compromises, that require one to meet others halfway, don ’t exist
in the world of the entitled . Everyone else is either competition –
threatening their own success – or irrelevant.

Double Standards
Whilst being unyielding to the requests of others , self- entitled
individuals make unrealistic demands, oblivious that their
personal happiness comes at another ’s expense.
Ungrateful attitudes are often directed at you after you have
performed a good deed for them . You might constantly change
your routine to accommodate their plans, for instance, but they
never offer to return the favour, even when you really need it.
Plus , they often appear totally oblivious to the inconvenience they
have caused you.

The feeling of Justified Rage
The self- entitled are no strangers to confrontation. Often known
for fits of rage surpassing any tantrum a toddler may throw , their
ruthless, egotistical stance allows them to believe this is justified .
Their anger can simmer passively too ; rolled eyes signal their
contempt for those around them . Simmering negativity is
displayed in cynical and overly critical viewpoints.